“Every woman needs one man in her life who is strong and responsible. Given this security, she can proceed to do what she really wants to do: fall in love with men who are weak and irresponsible.” – Canadian Humor Columnist Richard J. Needham

 “The only thing worse than a man you can’t control is a man you can.” – Humorist Margo Kaufman

You’re probably asking: who are these keeper guys?

Imagine if you will a ruthlessly efficient system for weeding out the trash fish (suckers, carp, river chubs) from the dating pool. A good system would allow you to zero in on the best prospects (trout, salmon, Bluefin tuna). You could easily filter the “most eligible” candidates from the larger school of suckers and chubs. Think of the huge savings of time and money. Think of the savings in sanity.

Face it: most of the good men and women are taken. That doesn’t mean they don’t get circulated back into the pool though. The trick is to know how to bait your hook to snag the prize catches. Tip: Don’t use dough balls and chicken gizzards if you want to land Chinook.

Most women agree that the best men have a steady job, an even-keeled personality, and a low-to-moderate thirst for alcohol. Plus they’re organized, well groomed, and thoughtful. Maybe tender. Oh, and they know how to get a woman hyperventilating in bed.

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